Tag Archives: misery

Tramp Factor


Have you got it?!


Egg Hunting Pariscruff Style


Found them yet?

Eggs


Street Entertainment


Aaaah! Quel beau Spectacle!!
En avant la musique…

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Banqueroute


Trader – it’s a hard life!

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E.T. Phone Home


Literally!

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Holy Metro


Jeebus :  ‘If you want to be perfect,  go, travel the metro and give to the poor, you will have treasure in Galleries Lafayette. Then come,  follow me to Fauchon.’
-Matthew 19:219

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Uncivil Service


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It has to be said, French civil servants (fonctionnaires) are rude, unhelpful lazy cunts always complaining and constantly striking.

I would advise anyone who appreciates life to use extreme caution when approaching these fonctionnaire people, they are known to display unusually violent tendencies towards us civilians.

I can unveil for you today these exclusive shots showing the aftermath of their latest attack.

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Daycare of the Damned


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Daycare spaces are pretty scarce in Paris these days with parents having to queue up months in advance to secure a place for their kids.

Coming up to saturation point and unable to admit any more chubby cheeked cuties, the admins of one particular nursery have taken drastic action and come up with a devilishly unique way to put parents off.

Scaring the living shit out of them before they even make it through the front door has been a thorough success!

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Prison for Papas


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During an hour and a half long wait in my local Proctologist’s waiting room the other day I was flicking through a slimy snot covered copy of Le Point magazine and came across an interesting news article.

Some people just don’t take their kids’ education seriously enough do they?

Education is free, get that kid to school!

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Precious Cesspit


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Whether you’ve just arrived in Paris or have lived here for many years, one thing you will be aware of is the challenge it can be to find decent accommodation at reasonable prices.

If you’re lucky enough to find an owner willing to consider your dossier de location in order to rent you their precious, dark, dingy, top floor, cockroach infested cesspit chambre de bonne then make sure you have the following ready for inspection:

– photocopy of your passport
– 3 latest salary slips
– proof of residence for you guarantor
– full names and address of your latest sexual partners
– photocopy of your guarantors passport
– latest tax declaration
– work contract or certificate
– copy of  your dental records
– bank details
– proof of rent payments from last residence
– your guarantors property tax declaration
– latest rectal exam results

Should your dossier be accepted then you’re either very lucky indeed or one of those fucking trendy, organic loving, ecofriendly, politically correct, privileged left-wing bourgeois bohemian urbanite do-gooder types.

Alternatively, claim your free self erecting tent and camp out in style along the canal saint martin with these guys.

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Bertrand’s Bike


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See, this is what you get when you fuck with Mayor Delanoe’s stuff Mr Pigeon.
You could’t help yourself could ya, you just had to go and shit all over his bikes.

Let this be a lesson to us all.

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Jeebus Price!!


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I’ve always been amazed, when walking through the streets of Paris, by the number of homeless people one will stroll past on a daily basis. Whether it be on a freezing February morning or a burning hot summery afternoon you’ll be knowingly ignoring a beggar at some point in your day.

Jeebus Price indeed!

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