The stuff is fucking everywhere!!
Aaaah! Quel beau Spectacle!!
En avant la musique…
A-well-a, everybody’s heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow etc…
Paris by Night – A unique experience not to be missed.
It has to be said, French civil servants (fonctionnaires) are rude, unhelpful lazy cunts always complaining and constantly striking.
I would advise anyone who appreciates life to use extreme caution when approaching these fonctionnaire people, they are known to display unusually violent tendencies towards us civilians.
I can unveil for you today these exclusive shots showing the aftermath of their latest attack.
Following on from our last episode we now take public defecation to an all new level and as again demonstrated below, public facilities in Paris are in dire need of repair and renovation.
This was previously a prime spot to let your fluids flow, locals are said to have come here
for generations to release their demons in peace and harmony.
Now the intoxicated stench of sun steamed urine seeps from its base, ungrateful youths desecrate the decor with their insolent graffiti whilst crusty troll like tramps spray the contents of their infected bowels up the walls.
If you live close to a park in Paris or are lucky enough to have a spot of greenery nearby then you’re most probably used to dodging dog shit on a daily basis. Adventuring further away from these areas you start to feel confident, can hold your head up high and walk in a straight line without the worry of slipping up in doggy diarrhea.
Watch out though. This does not apply to areas such as the 6th, 7th and 16th known to be densely populated by little old ladies and their priceless toy poodles.
You’ll find defecated ass goblins scattered far and wide, in every place and in every direction, so beware and keep your eyes on your toes!!
Paris, the magical city of lights.
Internationally renowned for its exceptional restaurants, stunning fashion shows, exquisite art expos, historical architecture and gourmet food stores.
Speaking of gourmet epiceries, don’t miss the opportunity to sample the treats on display at this particular rat infested delicatessen.
I made my reasons for hating the Velib’ quite clear in a previous article, I believe I was harsh but fair and expressed my views in a decent and civilised manner as any self-respecting Parisian would.
As you will see from the images displayed below some creatures of this earth have other methods for displaying their disapproval but I can’t help thinking: What the fuck did the Velib’ ever do to pigeons to deserve this?!!
Paris isn’t particularly well known for it amazing sports facilities, nor are Parisians famous for their sporting talents.
You’ll find a local gym to keep your muscles toned and a public swimming pool to catch something in but there is one sport which could take Paris to the top.
That’s right! Skiing is the one activity that many Parisians practice on a daily basis thanks to all the dog shit spread throughout the city.