Tag Archives: immigrés

Precious Cesspit


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Whether you’ve just arrived in Paris or have lived here for many years, one thing you will be aware of is the challenge it can be to find decent accommodation at reasonable prices.

If you’re lucky enough to find an owner willing to consider your dossier de location in order to rent you their precious, dark, dingy, top floor, cockroach infested cesspit chambre de bonne then make sure you have the following ready for inspection:

– photocopy of your passport
– 3 latest salary slips
– proof of residence for you guarantor
– full names and address of your latest sexual partners
– photocopy of your guarantors passport
– latest tax declaration
– work contract or certificate
– copy of  your dental records
– bank details
– proof of rent payments from last residence
– your guarantors property tax declaration
– latest rectal exam results

Should your dossier be accepted then you’re either very lucky indeed or one of those fucking trendy, organic loving, ecofriendly, politically correct, privileged left-wing bourgeois bohemian urbanite do-gooder types.

Alternatively, claim your free self erecting tent and camp out in style along the canal saint martin with these guys.

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